hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
