This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
