never play flip cup with pint glasses
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
