Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I am naked and annoyed.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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