eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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