I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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