..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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