The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
