i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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