need another drink. this is the easiest way
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
