Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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