after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
