I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize