your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
