Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
as a side note pls kill me
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