Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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