So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
