i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
