So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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