I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
