so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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