She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
