Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm both gender and math confused
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
