I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
