Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.