Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  well I can't set my house on fire every night

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  (248): well I can't set my house on fire every night http://tfl.nu/iwc7
  Replies (3) Good night (1568) Bad night (1143)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.

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  (607): I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them. http://tfl.nu/ng5q
  Replies (9) Good night (2897) Bad night (749)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?

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  (770): Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich? http://tfl.nu/e2fw
  Replies (17) Good night (2123) Bad night (1062)
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  (310): View more from California

  My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

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  (310): My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra http://tfl.nu/y9he
  Replies (62) Good night (9639) Bad night (1108)
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  (858): View more from California

  I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume

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  (858): I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume http://tfl.nu/37b5
  Replies (16) Good night (4690) Bad night (871)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth

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  (206): tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth http://tfl.nu/91m9
  Replies (16) Good night (1491) Bad night (3426)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

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  (770): i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises. http://tfl.nu/q0zn
  Replies (52) Good night (6642) Bad night (1687)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.

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  (203): So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off. http://tfl.nu/cdqo
  Replies (10) Good night (5031) Bad night (806)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city

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  (204): some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city http://tfl.nu/k6ti
  Replies (38) Good night (12132) Bad night (1044)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  when i was alone, his dick was there for me...

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  (901): when i was alone, his dick was there for me... http://tfl.nu/g7ma
  Replies (32) Good night (5013) Bad night (1193)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates

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  (772): I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates http://tfl.nu/4z1l
  Replies (3) Good night (2341) Bad night (829)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.

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  (443): His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number. http://tfl.nu/j9e9
  Replies (21) Good night (3688) Bad night (663)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

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  (904): Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten http://tfl.nu/vxzl
  Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (312)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.

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  (337): he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy. http://tfl.nu/oyxi
  Replies (5) Good night (949) Bad night (345)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road

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  (814): Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road http://tfl.nu/0xhz
  Replies (3) Good night (774) Bad night (227)

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