Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv

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  (917): East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv http://tfl.nu/5gj0
  Replies (19) Good night (1443) Bad night (645)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.

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  (978): I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it. http://tfl.nu/p2ch
  Replies (4) Good night (2870) Bad night (690)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS

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  (917): my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS http://tfl.nu/r3wq
  Replies (3) Good night (1759) Bad night (736)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  did it hurt when the cum got in your eye

  (469): View more from Texas

  not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash

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  (214): did it hurt when the cum got in your eye (469): not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash http://tfl.nu/j0vs
  Replies (44) Good night (999) Bad night (3070)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.

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  (321): I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free. http://tfl.nu/5dnh
  Replies (17) Good night (3745) Bad night (1539)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"

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  (419): I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion" http://tfl.nu/b5an
  Replies (11) Good night (7222) Bad night (1187)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?

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  (781): on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks? http://tfl.nu/o217
  Replies (6) Good night (3336) Bad night (903)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".

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  (253): He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation". http://tfl.nu/2gnt
  Replies (12) Good night (954) Bad night (3092)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!

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  (352): Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?! http://tfl.nu/wryd
  Replies (11) Good night (2555) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum

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  (610): i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain (215): replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum http://tfl.nu/e0rs
  Replies (2) Good night (1670) Bad night (667)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.

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  (423): What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face. http://tfl.nu/y7fo
  Replies (5) Good night (663) Bad night (495)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?

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  (802): Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter? http://tfl.nu/jufp
  Replies (8) Good night (1156) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.

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  (314): I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel. http://tfl.nu/ipcm
  Replies (0) Good night (569) Bad night (421)
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  (415): View more from California

  I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms

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  (415): I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms http://tfl.nu/hvko
  Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.

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  (919): I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from. http://tfl.nu/ndjc
  Replies (7) Good night (289) Bad night (273)

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