Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....

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(516): View more from New York

I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss

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(678): View more from Georgia

My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

you don't.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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(720): View more from Colorado

July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.

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(925): View more from California

Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up

(248): View more from Michigan

What a great time to reflect on life

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(520): View more from Arizona

How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?

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