Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days