I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro