Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I wish they had nachos that got you drunk

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  (760): I wish they had nachos that got you drunk http://tfl.nu/1jvf
  Replies (17) Good night (4512) Bad night (673)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO

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  (847): HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO http://tfl.nu/vpr1
  Replies (34) Good night (3066) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (855) Bad night (4045)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?

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  (585): I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei? http://tfl.nu/dlk1
  Replies (22) Good night (3581) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.

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  (812): You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation. http://tfl.nu/u8wd
  Replies (5) Good night (2725) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.

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  (608): He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles. http://tfl.nu/pu4v
  Replies (20) Good night (3662) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs

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  (732): I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs http://tfl.nu/vyur
  Replies (6) Good night (2299) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day

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  (512): Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day http://tfl.nu/zcoa
  Replies (6) Good night (2205) Bad night (1500)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day

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  (904): I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day http://tfl.nu/k829
  Replies (6) Good night (2218) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.

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  (414): I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants. http://tfl.nu/xbe1
  Replies (6) Good night (1429) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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  (908): She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible. http://tfl.nu/itsw
  Replies (7) Good night (622) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?

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  (248): What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence? http://tfl.nu/gb31
  Replies (6) Good night (1205) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family

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  (413): Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker" (1-413): I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family http://tfl.nu/b85j
  Replies (7) Good night (2268) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already

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  (703): I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already http://tfl.nu/u5c8
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.

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  (317): it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor. http://tfl.nu/dyyo
  Replies (2) Good night (839) Bad night (365)

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