am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am