This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
