it hurts more in the daytime
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
