Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
