someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
