Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
