So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
