He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
