I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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