I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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