I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
