I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
