i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
