Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
