just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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