am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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