He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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