His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize