Porn is love you can see.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
