I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
