Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize