So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize