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Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
