So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize