We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
third nipple confirmed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
