They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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