my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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