I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
