Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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