i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
