We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize