So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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