I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.