I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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