oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money