So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She needs sedatives and a leash
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
