Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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