i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
