is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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