He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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