If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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