this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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