I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
